Here’s the Thing…
Ever since I began college back in 2013, people have always been asking me, “So what’s next?”
I suppose it is a valid question, since the four years of college can be some of the most transformative, but I just gotta be honest: I was tired of always trying to come up with answers that I thought were going to please people.
“I’m going to start a great internship this summer!”
“Cool, but what’s next?’
“I am leading a missions trip to Honduras this spring!”
“But then what?”
“I’m graduating a semester early!”
“And when are you going to start working full-time?”
“Well, I’m actually doing the mission trip again, so I’m probably gonna look for a part-time job until I’m more settled.”
“But then what?”
“I work at Red Lobster now, and I actually really like it!”
“You’re not gonna stay there forever though….”
“I got a full-time job as an office assistant!”
“So what’s the next step?”
Are. You. FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME.
Guys. Let me just lay this out for you clearly: Your efforts are never going to be good enough for some people. People will always ask you what’s next, even when you’re really happy with where you are.
So you know what I say? Love yourself. Love your decisions. Love your life. Because what good is it if others love your life, but you don’t?
I have a lot of people in my life who I am so grateful for because they have been with me through every step of my journey and they have a good understanding of where I am at in life.
But they don’t know everything.
They weren’t there when I stayed up till 2am working on a project for a client. They weren’t there when I was paying my bills and wondering where my next paycheck was coming from. They weren’t there when I wrote that really powerful blog post that I poured my heart into. It was just me.
I’m not saying that the people in my life aren’t there for me or that they don’t understand my struggles and triumphs. I’m saying that I can describe these things as much as I want, but they’re never gonna know exactly how I felt in those moments.
No one is ever going to understand (or want to understand) every step of your journey. But that’s okay because YOU can appreciate your journey. And that’s what matters most.
From an outside perspective, it may look like you can always be striving for something new and better. Which is true and great. But what if you don’t want to? What if you are totally happy where you are?
Our world is fast-paced, and it is all about the newest and coolest thing. A new iPhone comes out like twice a year. Cell phone apps are constantly updating to make sure they are up to par with their competitors. There’s always new fad diet coming out to make you lose weight faster.
So it makes sense to think that you need to be constantly updating yourself as well.
But you don’t. You can, of course, but you should not feel obligated to do so.
However, with that, it is important to learn how to be satisfied with yourself and with your decisions. Trust me, receiving satisfaction from others feels good. But there comes a point where you are satisfying others more than yourself.
Learn to be satisfied and confident in your decisions, and I guarantee you will be much happier.
My mom always told me, “unless you are doing something reckless, I’m going to support you.”
However, everyone is not going to be like my mom, and they won’t always approve of what you’re doing.
But, there’s a lot of truth in my mom’s statement. If what you’re doing isn’t reckless, then approval from other’s doesn’t really matter. They can certainly advise you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Advice from others is great and appreciated, but at the end of the day, you are going to be the one living with your decisions.
It would be silly to take a job, for example, that you aren’t interested in because it will make someone else happy. They aren’t going to be the one sitting in that office for eight hours a day, five days a week!
Instead, make the decisions that you know will benefit you in the long run. Approve of your own decisions! Don’t wait for others to do it for you.
Don’t ever forget that you have the best understanding of what will make you the happiest in the future.
So That’s the Thing…
Cue Hailee Steinfeld’s “Love Myself” and show yourself a little love!
Release the need for others to appreciate your decisions, to be satisfied by your decisions, and to approve of your decisions. I can promise you that you will be so much happier when you are free from that burden of pleasing others.
The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them.